Lost Without You
by btamamura
Summary: A Sherlock Hound/Meitantei Holmes fic. Set before 'Hope'. Based on a dream I had. Watson has been offered a new position, but accepting it means he'd have to leave Hound. What will he do? How does Hound feel about it? Slash. Hound x Watson aka Johnlock. Rated to be safe.


**Disclaimer:** _I do not own_ _ **Sherlock Hound/Meitantei Holmes**_ _, any canon characters or the original_ _ **Sherlock Holmes**_ _works. They are the properties of their respective owners. I do own The Captain._

 **Notes:** _ **Sherlock Holmes had once outright stated**_ _I am lost without my Boswell_ _ **to his Watson. The line ringing through my mind brought forth a Sherlock Hound dream that features the events of this story. This can be considered to take place before**_ _Hope_ _ **.**_

 _ **May be OOC at times. Eventually becomes slash between Hound and Watson, meaning this is a Johnlock fic. As with other fics for this series,**_ _Holmes_ _ **will be referred to as**_ _Hound_ _ **.**_

 _ **I hope you enjoy it!**_

 _ **(Linebreaks hate me, so I will use**_ _SHJW_ _ **.)**_

SHJW

It had been a busy day in the clinic. Dr. John H. Watson was seeing off one of his patients with a warm smile marking his muzzle. Once the patient had departed, he closed the door and stretched. "Should be about time I headed for home, I think. I hope Hound hasn't stunk out the sitting room with another of his experiments." He made his way to his desk, ready to put away his paperwork, when a knock sounded on the door. "Enter!"

A stocky bulldog entered the room, in his paw was a sailor's hat. "Dr. John Watson, I presume?"

"That's correct. I'm afraid I am not taking any more patients for the day unless it's an emergency."

"Actually, I was hoping to catch you when you didn't have any patients. I wish to make a proposition."

"Proposition?" He gestured to the seat facing his from the opposite side of his desk. "Pray, have a seat and explain yourself, my good man."

The bulldog did as requested and started to speak.

SHJW

Sherlock Hound had been looking out the window and spotted his good friend walking down the footpath. _Watson appears to be conflicted about something..._ He saw the Scottish terrier speaking with Mrs. Marie Hudson and regarded surprise on her face. "Hm?" He knew he'd get his answers in due time, so he moved to sit down and await Watson's presence.

It wasn't more than a couple of minutes before Watson entered the sitting room, hanging up his coat and setting down his medical bag. "Good evening, Hound, fine weather today. Anything exciting happen?"

"I'm afraid today was rather quiet. Yours was productive?"

"Indeed! Then, something happened just as I was preparing to close up for the day."

"You're unharmed, it wasn't a threatening situation?"

"Not at all, but quite surprising. See, the captain of the new cruise ship to set off on her maiden voyage next week approached me. He asked if I could serve as the official doctor of the cruise."

"I daresay that is a surprise! Quite an honour as well, I'd imagine! For you, of all doctors, to be chosen for the position...my heartiest congratulations to you!"

"It may not be the right time for those, much as I appreciate them. If I accept the position, I would no longer be able to take cases with you. I'd never be in London for more than a day between each voyage, and those are expected to take months. I'm indeed honoured I was selected, but I just...I don't know what I should do. Should I accept and give up a life of helping the world's greatest detective solve crime? Or should I pass up the opportunity?"

 _He'd have to leave? For good? Oh, my dear Watson, I may be a great detective, but I would be lost without you! Still, it is not my decision to make for him; if he should accept, then I'll oblige it._

"You alright there, Hound? You appeared stuck in your thoughts just now."

"Oh. Yes, yes, I am quite fine." Though he felt the opposite. "When do they want a response by?"

"The eve of the maiden voyage, so I have a few days to think it over."

"Do you believe you will take it?"

"For now, I can't say."

"I understand."

SHJW

The days passed rapidly, and Watson felt more pressured to make his decision. He and Hound had been on another case during that time, and it made his decision all the harder to make.

It was the night before he had to report to the captain and inform of his decision. It wasn't difficult to notice the sombre atmosphere in their Baker Street residence, but especially wherever Hound was. His smiles seemed forced and he used more affectionate ways of addressing his friend. "Hound, are you alright?"

"Quite alright, my dear Watson."

He frowned, not believing him for a second, but opted to leave it be. "I have to tell the captain of my decision tomorrow, but, I still have yet to make one. Hound, you were solving crimes long before I came into your life, you'd be fine if I was gone, right?"

"Yes, quite so."

"I'm skilled in many forms of illnesses, those I had encountered in my years abroad. They'd need someone with those skills. Maybe..." He sighed and closed his eyes. "I'd better sleep on it." He rose to his feet. "Good night, Hound."

Hound didn't respond as Watson left the room. He didn't think his voice would allow it.

SHJW

Watson's ears twitched as he heard his door opening. He noted the light of a candle as he opened his eyes slightly to see who it was. "Hm? Hound? Is it a case?"

Hound shook his head, setting the candle down. "Watson, I hope you'll pardon my disturbance, but I am feeling unlike myself. You don't have to say or do anything following this question. May I lie with you for a while?"

"Hm? Certainly, just let me make some room." He shifted over, making some space for his friend to join him.

"Thank you." He didn't lift the covers and prepared to lie beside his friend.

"Under the covers; it's too chilly this evening to forego them."

He nodded and did as advised. "Please don't mind what I do following; you're quite safe, I assure you. This is just me acting on my selfishness."

"I trust you, my dear Hound." He felt his friend put an arm under his own and grasp his paw before resting his forehead against the back of his own head. He didn't question what Hound was doing, he was certain there was a reason for it. He soon found his answer when he felt his friend trembling and the back of his head had developed a damp patch. He returned the grasp of his paw and closed his eyes; not to doze but to allow the moment to pass in its own time. _I'll ask about it later._

He released little more than hitched breaths. _I want to ask you to not leave, but it's not my place to do so. My dearest Watson, I am lost without you, I do not want you to leave..._

SHJW

In due time, the shivers had ceased and Hound seemed a little more relaxed. Watson opened his eyes and spoke softly. "Something is bothering you, Hound, what is it?"

"Don't go..." he whispered before he could stop himself.

"Hound?"

"Watson, I am lost without you, I implore you not leave." He squeezed his eyes shut. "I don't want you to go..."

"Oh, Hound, is this what you've been thinking since I broke the news?"

He nodded.

"I still don't know if I will or not, but if the thought of my departure is enough to bring you to such a state, maybe I shouldn't."

"No. I am being selfish. I already understand that if you want to go, then you will. If you want to stay, then you will. I would miss you terribly if you agreed to the offer, but it's not up to me. I'm sorry, my dear Watson, I am just adding more confusion and pressure to your internal conflict."

"No. I'm glad."

"You are?"

"I'm glad to know how this makes you feel. The decision may be about my life, but it is not mine that will only be affected. At least I know that, if I do accept, I have a good friend who does want the best for me even at his own expense." He felt his paw being released and turned over so he could look at his friend; the light from the still-lit candle allowing so. His heart skipped a beat at the pain in the other's eyes. "I'm also sorry that my decision could very well hurt you."

He sighed and shook his head, gazing intently into Watson's eyes. "I may get through it in time."

"I don't doubt it, but it would still hurt you. I know we're best friends and all, but this is..."

"There is something I have been hiding from you, my Watson."

"What's that?"

"My truest heart. I meant it when I said I would be lost without you."

"But...but, what about Mrs. Hudson...?"

"We've already spoken of it, and I realised there is nobody who could ever fill the void her late husband had left in her heart. She then mentioned to me there may be someone else my affections are truly for."

All of a sudden, Watson felt a little awkward having such a discussion in his bed. But, it wasn't an altogether uncomfortable feeling. "I see."

"I am only putting more pressure onto you with this. Never mind, forget I spoke of it."

He rested his paw on his friend's cheek and smiled tenderly. "No indeed. I shan't ever forget this conversation in which you shared the deepest depths of your truest heart. I can't give you a response yet; not until this other matter has been sorted."

"I said earlier that you need not feel you have to say or do anything. I shall await your response. For now, I should return to my room."

"No, it's fine to stay here. Just put out the candle and stay."

"Very well, my dearest Watson."

SHJW

"I informed the captain of my decision," Watson spoke as he entered the sitting room. "Hound, would you be good enough to take me to the harbour tomorrow?"

He tensed. That surely meant Watson had decided to accept the offer. But, he smiled gently and nodded. "Of course."

Watson beamed. "Thank you, Hound, I appreciate it." He had made his decision, and he wanted his friend to bear witness to what it was. "They set sail at noon tomorrow, we'll have to get there early."

"Indeed." He wondered just why Watson was sounding so cheerful. Could it be a result of the stress of his choice finally being relieved? But, what of their conversation the night before?

SHJW

"Right. I'll be seeing you," Watson remarked as he offered his paw for Hound to shake.

Hound wanted to do much more than shake Watson's paw, but propriety and the law wouldn't allow it, so he accepted doing the simple, courteous gesture. He reluctantly released his grip as he watched Watson turn and head into the crowd, bag in hand. "Farewell, my Watson..." he whispered. He decided to stay and see as the ship set sail, so he stood in that same spot.

At exactly noon, the ship departed as many calls from the ship and harbour sounded. Hound couldn't see Watson among the waving crowd of passengers. "He must not wish for us to say farewell..." He sighed as he finally turned and made his way to where he'd parked his car. Much to his surprise, waiting patiently in the passenger seat was the one he thought was about to set off on a long journey towards a new life. "Watson...?"

"I told you I'd be seeing you," he responded with a wink and a smile.

Hound felt relieved at Watson not leaving, as well as a bit of anger at the deception. But, above all, he felt elated that his Watson was going to stay with him. "Watson, I don't understand..." He started the engine and sat in the driver's seat. "I thought..."

"I'll explain on the way home."

"Very well. I trust it's a good one?"

"Rather!"

SHJW

"After our conversation a couple of nights ago, I came to my decision. I knew what I had to do. So, when I went out to report to the captain, I stopped by the clinic to speak with a highly respected colleague of mine. He had some time, so I took him to the office and instead offered for him to be granted the offer. He'd been hoping to go further in his career, so he jumped at the opportunity. I served as a suitable reference so he was accepted almost immediately. I wanted to go to the harbour to see him off, but realised he was short on equipment. I also had to make sure he had settled into his new surroundings and then disembarked the ship just before it set sail. There were far too many people there for me to try to find you, so I opted instead to wait in the car."

He pulled into the garage and stopped the engine. He turned to Watson. "Quite sneaky of you to pull that off. But, with that handshake of yours, I was certain we'd be saying farewell."

"Oh, that was just an action of impulse. Or, as you put it the other night, acting on my own selfishness."

"I don't quite follow."

He chuckled. "I must be the only one capable of stumping the great Sherlock Hound. It's actually quite simple. My decision wasn't the only thing on my mind after our late-night conversation."

His heart skipped a beat at those words.

"I have a response to your confession, but it is longwinded and Mrs. Hudson may come down before I finish, so let's quickly close those doors." He hopped out of the car and did as he'd said, leaving them in the dark of the garage. There soon came light courtesy of Hound lighting a lamp, and Watson approached him.

Hound felt the doctor wrap his arms around his torso tightly, he returned the firm grip. When the embrace broke, he looked down to Watson as he felt the doctor take hold of his paws. He bent slightly as Watson started to raise himself onto his toes. He allowed their noses to touch first, a sign of consent for the next action.

Watson was pleased Hound had bent over slightly as he brought his lips to his. He poured his feelings into their chaste kiss, hoping it would be enough to convey his feelings without words. When the kiss broke, Watson whispered, "I love you, Hound, and I know that I would be lost without you."

Hound smiled tenderly. "I love you too, my dear Watson...no, my dear _John_."

"Sherlock..."

He leaned in for another kiss. _I hope it stays this way, but for now at least, I will never have to find out just how truly I would be lost without you._

SHJW

 **After notes:** _ **As I said earlier, this fic is about a dream I'd had very recently (as in during my last slumber), so I wrote it as it happened in my dream; Hound crying and timeskips included.**_

 _ **Thanks for reading! You don't have to review, but if you want to say something, please don't flame. Constructive criticism is welcomed as always.**_


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